LB - Left Brain RB - Right Brain . LB: Try ko kayang marinig siya? RB: ‘Wag na lang… baka mapahiya ka! . LB: Ano, one try pa? RB: ‘Wag na… tama na… sige ka, ikaw din. . LB: Hindi, pakikinggan lang ang boses niya… RB: Kulit mo rin ano? . LB: Bakit? RB: Minsan mo ng ginawa ‘yan. . LB: Hindi oks lang! RB: Paano kung mapahiya ka. . LB: Okay lang… at least nag-try… RB: Tapos ano, mangiyak-ngiyak ka… . LB: Naiisip siya eh… RB: Ibaling mo sa iba… . LB: Ginawa ko na dati, wala rin… RB: Hay naku! . LB: Ano, try ko na ba? RB: Mapapahiya ka, ‘di ba galit siya? . LB: Malay mo lumipas na… RB: Kung lumipas na siya mauuna… . LB: Tulad nang mag-text siya ala-1:00 ng madaling araw? RB: Yup! . LB: Kailan kaya ‘yun? RB: Hmmm… ‘wag mong isipin kung kailan… . LB: Hindi, try ko na ngayon, malay mo hinihintay ako… RB: Mag-isip ka nga… ano ba huling sinabi niya sa’yo?! . LB: Pls. don’t txt anymore… RB: Kita mo… pls. don’t txt anymore daw… . LB: MISS KO SIYA EH…
There are some instances in our lives that we want leave behind even for awhile... problems, situation and the lot. Sometimes, we want to runaway just for nothing! Runaway in way we just want to feel free… free from dilemma, free from noise, free from work, free from pain, free from anxiety and the whole thing. Basically, we just want to feel the world, the real world… the real life! This is what I really want to do now… to be with the nature alone… to think nothing and feel free from harm and disgusting things. I want the nature to comfort me… I want to be with the natural world. I want to share to the nature what I really do feel inside. So many questions in me and being alone with the nature, surely, I can have the best answer.
Barefoot, I want to run at the seashore. I want to have fun with the waves and swim from coast to coast until I get tired. I want to feel the heat of the sun to my skin and if possible, burn the troubles inside me. I want to feel the wind stoutly blowing my body and takeaway the weary character in me and change it into a brand new one. I want to scream until I breakdown and tell the entire sea what I really do feel inside… the pain, anxiety and my weariness. I want the nature… I want the sea, I want the wave, I want the sun, the heat, I want the wind and to wrap this one, simply… .
I feel so empty today, I feel all alone and so cold deep within me. I’m crying over here in my space while doing this piece. I want to runaway in a very far away place… alone… and feel free! I want to scream and release all the things that I feel… rage, pain and the lot. I want to stay with someone who will going to wrap his arms around me, make me feel so safe and warm and tell me that everything will gonna be okay. I feel emptiness… I want to lean on my mother’s lap like a little child once again… innocent and calm. I feel so tired… please be with me. Tears keep falling from my eyes… wipe it with your hands. Anxiety is killing me… wrap your arms around me. I feel so bushed… hold me… hold me!
It’s just another rainy day! So nice to stay at home and take the best sleep for the whole day… but, we have to go to work. Work place, really so cold inside, maybe, because of the weather that’s why my officemates seems so quiet too. So I guess much better to stay here in my space and be vied surfing the net rather than to disturb them while having their own “moments.” Upon browsing the net, particular site puff into my mind and I urgently open this site. While slowly browsing it, I feel butterflies inside my stomach… and you know why… surprise… I saw a new picture (ehem)… and inspite of the heavy rain outside… the photo that I saw, brings back the sun into my eyes (naks! ang lalim!). Anyway… upon staring at the photo… dark clouds came into my mind… haha… MAKAKAGANTI NA RIN AKO. Before, sinabihan akong magpa-tattoo ng kulay red sa noo at mukha na akong siopao, now… it’s my turn… sinasabi ko na rin ngayon na… “magpa-tattoo ka na rin ng kulay red sa noo dahil mukha ka na ring siopao… haha… seems we’re just the same now… ANG TABA mo na rin. Bwahahaha… Well… the photo… sigh… I can’t help it… there's no other way to say and I can't deny it... I miss the days!
FEELING dull out here in my space… and here is my key to ease this boredom… read my funny emails way way back that I received from… amm... kanino nga ba? Anyway, kapag siguro nabasa ng taong nagpadala nito sa akin, maaalala niya na siya ang nag-send nito... whew! Check this one! . Hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan ang mga mumunti ngunit ginintuang butil ng payo na nakuha ko sa aking mga magulang: . Si Inay, tinuruan niya ako HOW TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "Kung kayong dalawa ay magpapatayan, doon kayo sa labas! Mga leche kayo, kalilinis ko lang ng bahay." . Natuto ako ng RELIGION kay Itay. "Kapag yang mantsa di natanggal sa carpet, magdasal ka na!" . Kay Inay ako natuto ng LOGIC. "Kaya ganyan, dahil sinabi ko." . At kay Inay pa rin ako natuto MORE LOGIC. "Kapag ikaw ay nalaglag diyan sa bubong, ako lang magisa ang manonood ng sine." . Si Inay din ang nagturo sa akin kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng IRONY. "Sige ngumalngal ka pa at bibigyan talaga kita ng iiyakan mo!" . Si Inay ang nagpaliwanag sa akin kung ano ang CONTORTIONISM. "Tingnan mo nga yang dumi sa likod ng leeg mo, tignan mo!!!" . Si Itay ang nagpaliwanag sa akin kung anong ibig sabihin ng STAMINA. "Wag kang tatayo diyan hangga't di mo natatapos yang lahat ng pagkain mo!" . At si Inay ang nagturo sa amin kung ano ang WEATHER. "Lintek talaga kayo, ano ba itong kuwarto nyong magkapatid, parang dinaanan ng bagyo!" . Ganito ang paliwanag sa akin ni Inay tungkol sa CIRCLE OF LIFE: "Malandi kang bata ka, iniluwal kita sa mundong ito, maari rin kitang alisin sa mundong ito." . Kay Itay ako natuto kung ano ang BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Tumigil ka nga diyan! huwag kang mag-inarte na parang Nanay mo!" . Si Inay naman ang nagturo kung anong ibig sabihin ng GENETICS. "Nagmana ka ngang talaga sa ama mong walanghiya!" . Si Inay naman ang nagpaliwanag sa amin kung anong ibig sabihin ng ENVY. "Maraming mga batang ulila sa magulang, di ba kayo nagpapasalamat at mayroon kayong magulang na tulad namin?" . Si Itay naman ang nagturo sa akin ng ANTICIPATION. "Sige kang bata ka, hintayin mong makarating tayo sa bahay!" . At si Itay pa rin ang nagturo kay Kuya kung anong ibig sabihin ng RECEIVING. "Uupakan kita pagdating natin sa bahay!" . Si Inay naman ang nagturo sa akin kung ano ang HUMOR. "Kapag naputol yang mga paa mo ng pinaglalaruan mong lawnmower, wag na wag kang tatakbo sa akin at lulumpuhin kita!" . At ang pinakamahalaga sa lahat, natutunan ko kina Inay at Itay kung ano ang JUSTICE. "Isang araw magkakaroon ka rin ng anak, tiyak maging katulad mo at magiging pasakit din sa ulo!"
The greatest part of being in love is when you just love a person and are happy about it.
To love someone and just be happy about it even if we know that it cannot last forever — that is the true essence of love. It is not about winning someone. It is not about owning a relationship, it is just about being happy because you know you have loved someone. It is about being guiltless because you know you did not take away someone from anybody. You just loved and loved unselfishly. That is why you can still look back with a smile in your heart and never regret that you have met that person.
Love is unselfishly generous and it is in the unselfish generosity that we are rewarded with true happiness, happiness that is only found when we give love without asking for love in return.
One of my favorite emails… I remember… I feel so barmy during that time when somebody sends this electronic mail which is all about jokes. I don’t know if he could still remember this, maybe already forgot it. During that moment, while reading this... call it mababaw but I can't help my self not to laugh and now, I want to share this with you guys! Spend even a little minute to read this when you feel that you're all alone... Enjoy!
*Dalawang kalbo, nag-sabunutan. *Capt. Hook dumaan sa Quiapo, pinirata!!! *Palaisdaan, nasunog!!! *Tahanang Walang Hagdan, inakyat!!! *Bakla sumali sa away, napasubo!!! *Bagong tuli nagyabang, lumaki ang ulo!!! *Unanong madre, napagkamalang penguin!!! *Bulag nakapatay, nagdilim daw ang paningin!!! *Iceman nanood ng porno, nag-init!!! *Tindera ng suka, tinoyo!!! *Teacher nagkamali, tinuruan ng leksyon!!! *Lolo naakusahang nang-rape, pero sa korte.... biktima daw kc ayaw tumayo!!! *Eroplano nag-crash, lahat ng pasahero namatay sabi ng mga survivor!!! *Basurero nagsampa ng kaso, binasura!!! *Dahil may reklamo, eskwelahan ng mga bingi nag-noise barrage!!! *Tubero, nagka-tulo!!! *Lalaki natagpuang pugot ang ulo, inaalam pa kung buhay!!! *Barbero tumestigo sa krimen, ayaw paniwalaan!!! *Misis ng photographer, nakunan!!! *Tindera ng tubig, namatay sa uhaw!!! *Kaso ng pilay, nilalakad!!! *Invisible man, nakita na!!! *Bakla lumuhod sa simbahan, pinalabas!!! *Labandera nagkamali, sinabon!!! *Lalaki kumain ng boneless bangus, natinik!!! *Janitor sumali sa basketball, nilampaso!!! *Paco binaha, kinalawang!!! *Dahil lagi raw tulog, guwardiya binantayan *Bangkay, natagpuang patay!!! *Tindera ng mais, nagpatawa korni!!! *Tindero ng plastik, supot!!! *Lalaking nawawala, natagpuan sa morgue, patay!
It was my monthly routine to browse my previous diary to recall things that happened on a particular date of a picky month. Last night, while the “kids” are already sleeping, I opened my drawer and grab my 2004 diary. Honestly, I told my self before that I would not open this specially… August, why? Dami kasing nakaipit na mga papel papel… memorabilia! Upon reading on what was written on my diary, something puff into my head, so I grab my 2003 diary and opened it on a specific month… August! Upon and after reading my personal journals… I’ve noticed the similarities of some incidents, I laughed and asked my self “lucky month ko ba ang August?” While I was sitting on the floor and gazing outside the window, memories that happened during the month of August of the past years came back in to my mind. Way way back, when I was in high school, (giggle) AUGUST... I had the person who taught me how to open my self into a relationship for the very first time… yihiii… Hahaha. But… (sigh (jack’s favorite word, I guess… peace!) ended after seven months. 1996… 1997… 1998… 1999… 2000 and 2001… AUGUST, met the person who became a part of my existence. 2002… then 2003… while I’m getting crazy with my everyday work… AUGUST… I met the person who became a good pal of mine, NO DULL MOMENT with this guy even sa chat. A music guru… so fascinated with cars… super! Having some coffee at starbucks, sushi at Tokyo Tokyo and the first and last movie that we’ve watched… The League of eXtraordinary Gentlemen (LXG)! And now he is happily married for about 2 years, we can’t do those things anymore! The year after 2003… 2004… AUGUST! The memorable one… fresh among the rest… hahaha! There’s no way to forget this person. Used to call me WENDYNARA and BADUDAY (whatta name?) The first ever person who hangs my calls when he is mad (sakit sa tainga) and one more thing… he told me “magpa-tattoo ka ng kulay red sa noo… mukha ka ng siopao,” imagine, SIOPAO?! I wont forget that, that was Saturday, September 18, 2004. Hahaha... And this one… “’Di ka kasi marunong magpahalaga,” ito ba ang ‘di marunong magpahalaga, I don’t think so! This person told me also not to eat bagoong because according to him, it’s grimy, and for him, I refused to eat bagoong... hahaha. The one who told me to go home early after office work and yes, during those times, I do go home early (but sometimes not… hehe!). “Reporting on duty” everyday and a lot more… ahh… kinda miss it! Anyway… August, a memorable one! my Mushy month… noticed? How about this year, this August? What do you think? Well, lets wait and see. Ahhh... I don't know how to wrap this one... am about to go home. Anyway... till my next post.